Taking care of yourself after pregnancy loss | 10/21/24

First of all - I’m so sorry. Whether your pregnancy loss was your choice or not (miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or abortion), it can be devastating, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 

I’ve met with so many clients (and have experienced pregnancy release as loss myself) who’ve gone through pregnancy loss, that I wanted to share tips to help you during this tender time. 

Often the physical demand of moving through pregnancy loss may make you feel disconnected spiritually, emotionally, and/or from your body. It’s okay to feel numb. You may also feel a lot - immense grief, physical pain, existential sadness. It’s all okay and welcome. There’s no right way to do it. This is yours. While there are universal themes of pregnancy loss, it looks different for everyone, and that’s okay. 

Here are a few ways you can gently tend to yourself when you feel ready. 

CONNECTING WITH YOUR SPIRIT BABY

When you feel like you have the emotional bandwidth, you may choose to connect with the spirit baby that was connected to the pregnancy. You can do this by lighting a candle and sitting at your altar, feeling them and grieving them. You may even feel gratitude or happiness as you tune into your soul connection. 

You may want to write your spirit baby a letter, telling them what they mean to you, letting them know how you feel. 

This process most likely will bring up grief, and that’s okay. If a lot of grief arrives, be sure to be gentle with yourself afterwards. Give yourself time and space to integrate before moving into another activity. Let yourself rest if you feel emotionally drained. Get professional support if that may help, too, or call a safe friend or family member. 

TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY

Pregnancy loss is a major medical event and a shock to the system. Treat yourself as if you’ve been in a car accident - wrap yourself in blankets, let yourself rest, no heaving lifting. Focus on easy to eat and nourishing meals - soup, smoothies, comfort foods, your favorite superfoods. 

Post pregnancy loss, give your body time, space, and resources to build back. Eat what feels good. Get enough iron. Get extra sleep. Release your workout plan. 

No matter how long you were pregnant, your body started to create life. Meaning, your body spent tons of energy on growing something within you. Meaning, some of your energy was diverted to this pregnancy. 

Herbs can be extremely helpful for building back nutrients after pregnancy loss and supporting the womb. My favorites are nettle, raspberry leaf, rose, chamomile, yarrow, and motherwort. You can make a strong herbal infusion that sits overnight and drink this tea throughout the day. Herbs are slow and steady helpers, best used for about 3 months at a time. You can book a session with an herbalist if you want custom recommendations based on your body. 

Depending on how long you were pregnant, it can take 3 or more months (or even around a year) to fully release the pregnancy hormones. One way to help your body shed the pregnancy hormones so that you come back to baseline in your system is by dry brushing before you shower. Brush towards your heart, giving extra attention to your lymph nodes. This helps the hormones detox through your system. You can also support this rebalancing with time in the sauna. No need to push or over extend - gentle leads the way. 

Remember that you’re in a time of rebuilding your body and your womb, so don’t overdo this sloughing, as your body may already be depleted. However, light, gentle release (dry brushing, gentle sweating, gentle movement) can help you return to baseline sooner so you can feel more like yourself. 

IF YOU GET PREGNANT AGAIN

If you’re actively trying to conceive again, you may get pregnant shortly after your loss. Almost as if the loss rolls into another pregnancy. Trust in your body’s timing, in your spirit baby’s timing. Also know that your body, energy, and spirit may be extra depleted from your recent loss or release. Give yourself extra love and care as you grow this next pregnancy, knowing that you’re starting from a potentially lower resourced state. 

Women have been getting pregnant, losing pregnancies, releasing pregnancies, losing babies, and getting pregnant again since the beginning of time. Tap into the eternal nature of these cycles and all the women who came before you and are going through something similar as you even now. Trust in the wisdom of the earth, your body, and your womb.

Your new pregnancy may make you feel better, or it may bring up more grief. Release expectations on how you think it should feel, and allow yourself to be with whatever is. It’s your unique story. And, I promise, you are not alone. 

SUPPORT

Often, pregnancy loss happens in silence, behind the scenes, in sacred private. Even if you’re keeping this to yourself, you’re allowed to give yourself ample time to grieve and heal. Cancel as many plans as you can. Book a session with your therapist, your doctor, and/or me. Call in support. 

When you are ready, being with other people who are experiencing grief can be the best self-love. Sometimes it feels so hard to do “real life” as if nothing happened, as if you never felt loss. Sometimes it feels helpful to resume a routine, but other times it can be exhausting to go back to work or responsibilities where you have to navigate relating to people. To be in a circle with people who have felt pain like yours can feel comforting and like a way to rest. It’s no secret we live in a culture that struggles with integrating loss, feeling grief. What if you could walk alongside someone who is on a similar journey? 

If talking with or being with people who have some understanding about where you’re at sounds life a relief, join my group program. Waitlist now open. We begin 11/2/24.